Sunday, September 04, 2005

Party Hearty

Pierre walks into the classroom Friday morning. Labor Day is Monday and I am looking forward to a nice quiet three-day weekend. The fifteen of us have our books, pencils and paperwork ready. We are eager to be filled with knowledge. Actually while we have all of this stuff, we are also half-awake needing either coffee or a cigarette, or both.

“Today,” Pierre begins with his thick French accent. “We will be getting out early. I have to prepare for a social event at my house later today. Your guy’s boss will be there, along with several supervisors. As I have told you, the key to job advancement is networking. If any of you where at this party this would be a great step forward toward a more senior position. Only three of you are invited. Karla, Trent, and Bear. If any one else from this class shows up, You will face my wraith. If the three of you do not show up, you will face my wraith.”

I did not believe this was an empty threat, and having faced Pierre’s wraith once before, decided it was best to alter my evening plans and at least do an appearance at the party.

“May I bring my friend Ivan?” I asked. “He is an interesting person.”

“That is fine, but” Pierre warns. “if anyone acts stupid, gets too drunk and starts yelling things or causing a disruption I will kick there ass.”

I decided not to bring Ivan.

Kiri raises her hand.

“Can I come” she asks.

“Hell no.” Pierre answers.

Let me start introducing some of my co-workers/classmates. I had originally decided I would use the same names and characters from my old office. For those who did not know this, a large part of the people you read about here, are fictional. I not want to insult anyone or cause bad feelings. Well except shadows. The whole “Eternal Sitcom”. My cast of characters is already colorful and purposely stereotypical of whom you would find in an office setting. This would be a chance to complete remove them from the people who they were based on. Even though I may expand and add to an established character, I willing expanding to include some new cast members. So now I add to Steven, Rufus, Maggie, and all the others. The only name retired is Winston. His request and I don’t want to deal with him anymore.

So new characters added to the bunch. I am taking more time with the names, trying to get them to match alittle bit more with the character. Plus gives me chances to use my new “character naming” book.

Kiri – This is the 18-year-old that never, ever shuts up. She has to be the center of attention at all times. Must of the things she says are stupid. Really, really stupid. No she is not blonde. The name Kiri translates as “tree bark”. I thought it fit well. She is cute, and looks good in a low cut blouse, so I am sure she will be okay in life.

Karla – Karla is in her early twenties. Single parent, lives with her father, who is an active, high-ranking officer in the Marines. Her whole life she has spent times on military bases, knows how to take care of herself, and how to deal with people.

Trent – Also early twenties, Trent has an above average intelligence, speaks 3 languages and spent a year in a small village of Peru. He dresses well and is very conscience of his look. He wears glasses, but only for style. I like Trent, the more time I’m around him, the more he is coming out of his shell. Kiri really grooves on him, but he tries to nicely ignore her.

The party was a nice event. Not a night at the Penguin, but a good time.

Karla had a problem with a partygoer grabbing her ass. I did try to warn him. I don’t believe his ribs were broken, no matter what he was screaming when the ambulance took him away, maybe a little bruised. She did hold back.

Trenton showed up, which was kind of a surprise to me, I really didn’t think he would show. He brought an expensive bottle of liquor with him, which was cool. He did bring it in a purse though. A nice, flowery little hand bag. One of the women at the party commented on it.

“I used to have a bag just like that,” she said. “I used to keep all my Barbie stuff in it.”

I am not making any assumptions about Trenton. He is a nice guy, so take that as you want.

As for me, I had an okay time. Did my mingling, shook hands, listen to some jokes, told a couple. I did get someone on one time with Pierre. He let me know he thinks I will go far in this company, that being older then the majority of the workforce will help. Of course with Pierre, it is not always easy to tell if his comments were meant to be good or bad.

“-bear, the devil is not smart because he is the devil, he is smart because he is old.”

Everyone have a safe weekend!

Thursday, September 01, 2005

I love the first day of school!

Two days in to training. It has been interesting. I am familiar with the system they use, so that helps a lot. There are 15 of us, from ages 18 through later 30’s. When you add in the 18-year-olds, with high opinions about everything. 20 something’s with enough life experience to dislike the 18-year-olds and the gen x’ers who just stand back and watch the car crashes. Wow, sounds like my old dating life. The instructor helps keep things really interesting though.

Today I will focus on him.

He is French, with a think accent with the stereotypical name of Pierre. His name didn’t surprise me at all; I have run into that sort of thing all my life. When I learned to down hill ski, my instructor was named Helga and she was blond with a thick accent.

Pierre is a very likable guy. Tall, about 6’6 and reminds me of Andre the Giant. (Wrestling reference, got to put one in once and a while.) While I believe he will teach us all we need to know, his introduction speech was kinda unsettling on some levels.

Pierre - I am Pierre; I will be your instructor for the next 3 weeks. My job is to make sure you are ready to handle your new jobs as Customer Service Reps when you enter the call center. I have a reputation as the number one instructor here and that is not going to change. To insure this, one of two things will happen while you are in my classroom. You will either learn all there is to know and be the top CSR’s, or you will run from the building crying swearing to never return.

No one here will endanger my job by failing. Note that if you do fail, that I am very well liked here and will make sure that you are not only fired, I will also put a curse on your family and everyone that saw you get born.

Everyone here is an adult, so you will make sure that your work area is clean at all times. If you can not then you will face my wrath. Trust me when I say you will wish you were raped by a rabid bull with his dick on fire then face my wrath.

You have probably already noted that there are no windows in this room. While that means few distractions, it also means that if we lose power in this building, it will be darker then a wolf’s mouth in here. I can guarantee you, we will lose power at least once every three days, so be prepared and do not panic.

Firebear (yes, should have kept my mouth shut, but what fun is that!) – Um, Pierre, Why would we lose power so much, aren’t we a power company? You would think we would be able to keep power on in our own building! Ha ha ha!

PierreDo not try me! We do not have time for stupid questions.

Firebear – (under my breath) Freaken’ rifle dropper…

PierreWhat did you call me! You shall face my wrath! Everyone else take a smoke break. It is time for a teacher-student conference!

It is funny, when the door is closed, no one can hear you screaming for help. And Pierre was right, I did wish for that bull instead of facing his wraith!

It is so nice to be back working in an interesting place! More updates coming soon!

My Photo
Location: Lansing, Michigan, United States

Desert Shield/storm vet. I am the one at work who comes up with the ideas on filling up those non-work hours. (ok, who is up for canoeing this weekend?) After several wrong turns, have finally found the love of my life.

Powered by Blogger