Sleeping Alone

Warning me ahead of time, she tells me that she is working over night Saturday. So instead of being away all weekend, it is just that 12-hour period. Good, means we can do more together this weekend.

Except…

I hate sleeping alone. Hate it, and she knows it! That is why she is warning me!
I will sleep. Not very well. I will probably go rent a video game to keep busy all night.
She has done this to me. I was never like this before we started to go out. When I was 11 years old I used to mow lawns for money to go to the movies by myself! When I was 17 I used to go to Sci-Fi conventions, by myself! In the navy, I went out to eat by myself! As an adult I did all the above by myself, even when I was dating someone.

Why? Because I could see what I wanted, eat what I wanted and do it on my time schedule, taking as long or as short as I wanted. I racked up points on the local movie theaters frequent customer card! That was my freedom. Also was my barrier. I didn’t need anyone, was good on my own.

And now?

I would not do those on my own. I could, she would not mind. I just do not want to. It is not fun with out her. I have never been with anyone this long. My past relationships were measured in months, not years like now.
See I am ruined. Quite happily ruined! Would not trade what I have for anything. Yea, I’ve become happily pathetic!