Mmmmmmmm Hooters!

Most that know me understand that I have a thing for Hooters. Nothing gets me more excited then that rubbing that flesh across my lips. Some find it odd, but I like my Hooters naked and hot. Must be the southern in me.

Before anyone gets too excited, (down shadow people!) I am talking about Hooters Restaurant and Chicken Wings. I have been visiting these places for years, every time I find a new one I am so there.

A new Hooters has opened in our area. Instead of our usual Thursday night Penguin trip, Steven and I decided to go there. Change of atmosphere, that sort of thing.

I have to explain a little bit about Steven. Terrific worker and friend. Very smart. Has an equally great wife. Steven is a very logical thinker. Everything in its place, time and place for everything, that sort of type. Most of all, he had never been to a Hooters.

Part way through the workday we decided on it. We would just drive out and grab a bite to eat.

We arrived and walked in under the trademark orange neon. I could smell the hot wings already cooking. A pretty, young lady showing a fair amount of cleavage showed us to a table. Most men like breast. I do. I like looking at breast, heck I like just being around breast. I do believe I am discrete, though some would say that is open to debate. Because of past experiences, when I take a friend into a boob filled place I worry that he may not be as discrete.

Example:
I had taken my friend Ivan to the local topless bar. It was Monday night and they had drink specials while you watched the football game on the big screen television. Oh yea, and the waitresses were topless. Sounded like a win/win to me. Cheap beer, football, topless women, and good conversation. The problem was that I could not have a conversation with Ivan. He was struck dumb by the image of a topless woman. Every once and a while he would mutter something like “I want a girlfriend that walks around the house topless.” We left soon after that.

Steven, thankfully, has more class then that. He did not turn into a blubbering idiot at the sight of a couple big breasts. Being a man the likes everything in its place, I can just assume that Steven feels that breast sticking out of a tight shirt is the right place.

When the waitress sat down (“Kimmie”) at the table with us to “chat”, Steven felt was out of place. Actually by the look on his face, you would have thought the laws of gravity had been broken. Now the waitress may have been bending the laws of gravity (was like two torpedoes being shot out of her chest) but I did not see this as a problem. Of course I tend to be more laid back then Steven.

She really freaked him out when he asked about getting a little sample of the different sauces. Our little Kimmie informed him that they were all out of sample containers, so she would just have the kitchen staff spread the different flavors on her chest. Steven could then just lick the sauces off.

Hehehe. Kimmie made a funny.

Once we got Steven off the floor, she took our order, and then left. Steven let me know how awful that was. That she has a job, and sitting down at the table with us was out of line. And the joke, yeah well the joke was funny. I was glad that neither of us lost an eye nor had a Freudian slip. (Note to Steven – I still do not believe I said titties 7 times while giving my order. You made that up. I only said it 4 times, cleavage is not the same!)

We got our food. I was going to order my usual, Hot and Naked, but Steven ordered the 3-Mile Island sauce. Being a man, I had to order the same sauce. Naked on 3-Mile Island. The difference being I got wings, and he got breaded chicken strips.

The conversation was good. We talked about whether or not Winston says “Bingbing” or Blingbling” when he gets excited. Before we knew it, our food was there. Digging in we started to enjoy our chicken. Was a little hotter then usual for me, was good though. Steven though was going through 3 Mountain Dews and sweating profusely.

I was thinking:
“Damn, Steven is wimping out on me!”

Steven was thinking:
“Damn, how can Larry eat those! I can not even taste the chicken over the hot sauce!”

I have to give him kudos. I tried a piece of his breaded chicken and it was very, very hot. It seems that the breading holds on to the sauce better. Resulting in a much hotter flavor. I would not have been able to eat as many as he did. That is why I always order Hot and Naked. Plus I like telling the waitress, to give it to me Hot and Naked.

Next time I will just take him to a Sushi Place.