Tuesday, December 14, 2004

...and then there's Maude!

I have changed my focus at work. I focus only on the people of my island. These are great people, and really the only people I trust in the office. While before I tried to add suggestions, throw out my thoughts, now I do not. I have our newest manager to thank for that. (Thanks, Maude for helping me develop an "I don't care" attitude!) And walking around turns out, that I am not the only one. This office can not be any more divided. Its like Europe, all the nations protecting their borders.

Here is an average meeting.

Maude: … and here I have a flow chart that we have created to help you handle these types of calls. I held a meeting with 3 other supervisors to develop this to help you. The meeting lasted almost 4 hours, but we did it. Anyone have any questions on this?

Mr. SomeAnyonePhonePerson (SAPP): This is what we already do.

Maude: Not everyone. We worked hard on this.

Ms. SAPP2: Uh yeah, we all do this already, even down to the backward smiley face symbol at the bottom. You could have asked anyone of us instead of having a long meeting.

Mr. SAPP: (-:

Maude: Remember today is the annual Christmas party from 11:30 to 12:30! Everyone be sure to be there, otherwise you do not get paid for that hour. I am sure it will be great fun!

Mr. SAPP: What? We are being bribed to go to the Christmas party? Are they afraid that no one will show up?

Ms. SAPP2: I wouldn’t.

Maude: Okay, that is all the issues I have. Anyone else have anything?

Mr. SAPP: I do. I have been getting calls about members not understanding the letter that was sent out concerning BluMonkeys. They are saying it is too confusing.

Maude: (looking at the clock) I have not heard that. I think its probably just you.

Mr. SAPP: I don’t think…

Maude: Ok, since no one has anything else…

Ms. SAPP2: Actually, I have the same problem.

Maude: Great! This is so much better having one meeting a week instead of two. We don’t waste time! Everyone go be happy on the phones today!

Mr. SAPP: Does anyone hear the words I am speaking?

It just is not worth it any more! We have gone from a great office to a so-so office. I do not like it.

Let’s change the focus. I am too cheery a person for this. The pointy headed boss will be back soon and all should go back to normal. Then maybe we can go back to being Canada and The US. and Puerto Rico. (Hi Maggie!)

Half heard quote of the week:

Lenny: Hey, I got about 5 pounds of chocolate in my pants.

Calls of the week:

Mr. INeedMyDrugs: My doctor says I can no longer get the drug Causesheartattack. Why not?
Me: Sir, Causesheartattack was taken off the market because it has been proven to cause heart attacks.
MR. INMD: I don’t care, I want my drug! If I do not get it I will call my lawyer!
Me: Sir, If I could get it for you, I would.

and my new favorite:

Mrs. OhIamSoPoor: I cannot afford to cover my husband on the health insurance anymore. The increase in cost next month of $12.53 does not leave me enough money to cover my car payment!
Me: Ok, ma’am, I will send you out the paper work. That poor man!

Have a great day, and be happy on the phones! -bear


Blogger brooksba said...

Uncle Larry,

I was glad to see a post! I missed you.

Any job can go through cycles of wonderful to so-so. I hope that the feeling can get back to great before it gets to the dreaded: crappy. It sounds like you have a great bunch of co-workers on your island and dealing with the boss can be difficult. It's never easy being the one in charge, having to solve problems that one thinks are problems.

I don't get the upside down smiley face. What is that?

I hope it gets better. Keep that positive attitude that shines through. It's so obvious that you have a talent for finding the good feelings and that's a wonderful, wonderful thing. I admire you.


12:17 AM  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

Where is Homer Simpson when you need him? Here's what you do. You lure Maude to the top of a bleacher and then you accidentally on purpose push her off. How could anyone blame you?

So my question to you is this: Is Maude on crack? She didn't answer a single question. How is that good?

10:58 AM  

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Desert Shield/storm vet. I am the one at work who comes up with the ideas on filling up those non-work hours. (ok, who is up for canoeing this weekend?) After several wrong turns, have finally found the love of my life.

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